Humor

"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity."

"I aimed at the public's heart, and by accident I hit it in the stomach."

"I can resist everything except temptation."

"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."

"You could never convince a monkey to give you a banana by promising him limitless bananas after death in monkey heaven."

"Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand."